Perfection?
by sarahtwilightlover
Summary: Edward gets angry at Bella for...well you'll see. And Bella begins to realise that he's not so perfect after all...Rated T just in case. Edited 14/10/08 Post Eclipse, beginning of Breaking Dawn.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Heyzz, mii here. Hope you'll like the story. read on...**

**EDITED: 14/10/08**

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"She'll do what?!" Edward shouted at poor Alice who had just had another vision of Bella.

"I told you not to shout at me.," she snapped back at him.

"What did you expect me to do when you told me she would crash her brand new bullet-proof car?" He almost sobbed.

"Em...you might want to hurry up, Edward. She's going to crash any minute now!" Alice warned him.

Within half a second Edward was out the door and on his way to Bella.

_1 minute later_

**BPOV**:

He came storming over to my car and looked at me as though I asked him to kiss Mike Newton. "What the hell did you do that for?" He screamed at me. Honestly, it was only a little scratch, geez.

"I didn't do it on purpose I just thought I saw Jessica picking her nose in her car and -" I stuttered at the glowering look he was giving me. Flowers would have wilted under _that_ gaze.

"I don't care what you saw, do you know how much money this car cost me? Do you?!" He half-screamed at me. Wow...its psycho Edward...it couldn't have cost that much though. Could it? He _did_ say that it was a present...but still, it's just a car!

"Edward what is wrong with you? There's _one_ scratch on the car and you're flying off the handle! It's just a car." I glared at him. This was the first real fight we'd ever gotten into. Things had been too perfect I guess, I guess first love made you act like that...like love struck fools. I never noticed that he'd had a temper before.

" Bella you're driving me insane and I'm sick of you falling over and over and over again. And I always have to save you!" I felt as if he'd slapped me in the face as he said those words. I don't mean to be clumsy...I can't help it. "But I'm sick of you now. I don't care if we're getting married in a week." Edward shouted at me.

Tears prickled down the side of my cheeks, his words had hurt me a lot. But he had had some cheek to talk to me like that!

I reached out with my hand aiming for Edwards cheek, my goal to slap him senseless, but I had forgotten that he was a vampire. He saw what I was about to do and, too quick for me, caught my hand before it touched his face.

I yelped in pain, hand throbbing, and before I knew it I was out of the car reaching into my pocket.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialled Jacobs number.

He answered with his husky voice "Hello?" He asked.

"Jacob its me , Bella" I whimpered.

"Bella?? Are you okay? You sound like you're crying, maybe-" He said concernedly. I could just imagine his face, his eyebrows furrowed in that adorably Jacob way of his. But I had no time for his rambling.

" Jacob, please don't babble on. Come get me quick . I'm at school." I interrupted him, rushing over my words in my haste to get him to understand that I needed him.

He seemed to catch on. "Ill be right there Bella."

I murmured my thanks and hung up. Now all I had to do was wait.

_4 minutes later_

Jacob appeared at the school gates, wearing his usual garments; some sweat pants and a bare chest. He had no shoes on either, I noticed.

"Are you okay? Jacob asked, concern etched on his face.

"No." I sighed. "I tried to punch Edward but he caught my wrist and I think it's broken." My wrist dangled limply at my side.

"Care to tell me the story?" He asked, lifting me up into his arms and walking out the gates.

So I told him the story on the way to the hospital.

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**A/N - You like? If you do...review! R&R ppls. lol. -grin- **

_This was edited by the one and only,-Pretty.Pretty.Butterfly- thankees!_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – Thanks to all that reviewed the last chapter. Sorry this took so long but I think I'm on a roll now so…we'll see.**

**Thanks to: Amber, Fletcher x, Teenactress95, twilightpheonix123, Lexi1901, TotalTwilightAddict, Zoella De Vil, ktmc4, BeenDazzledByEdward. **

**I love you guys.**

**(Chapter written by PPB)**

Jacob set me back down onto my feet when we were finally inside the hospital.

We saw some free seats and we sat down on them while we waited to be called.

He kept looking at me concernedly every few seconds which, though I _knew_ he was only worried about my health, became a bit annoying after a while.

"Jake," I frowned at him; "Do you _have _to keep doing that? I'm fine, all I need is to see a doctor, and I'll be in tip top shape again."

"Doing what?" He asked me, obviously unaware that I had noticed him glancing at me.

"You keep looking at me every five seconds; it gets a _bit_ annoying after a while." I told him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't realise, Bells." He smiled at me, "You still owe me that story, y'know."

I had completely forgotten about that. What was I going to do? Alice had spent buckets of money on my wedding dress and now she was going to find out that Edward had called it off. But maybe she'd convince him that it had all been just an accident.

The question was, though, whether I'd take him back after that.

I wasn't so sure if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him anymore. All of the sugar-coating that had been on our relationship had been washed off today; I'd seen him lose his temper and hurt me. Over a _car_.

I shook my head wearily, my wrist was throbbing and I couldn't think too clearly.

Jake was still looking at me expectantly, waiting for my story.

I took a deep breath and told him what had happened between Edward and me earlier on, "What am I going to do Jake?" I asked him, tears starting to form in my eyes, "We were supposed to be getting _married_. Alice splashed out on a wedding dress and now he's called the whole wedding off."

He put his arms around me and murmured, "But are you _sure_ that you want to marry him?"

"I don't know Jake, everything's so different now,_ he's_ so different." I sniffled.

"Bells, don't commit yourself to something if you're not completely sure about it. You need time."

"But how much time do I have, Jake?"

"You have as much as you need. If he doesn't want you back, it's his loss, not yours."

I shrank from the thought of Edward rejecting me. I remembered the last time that had happened; it had been an unbearable torture for my poor broken heart.

It was mended now but it still held the scars from my zombie stage.

He didn't want me to be immortal…I was just his human play thing that he could come back to whenever he was bored because I was completely in love with him. It had been a brilliant act; I'd never suspected a thing. But now I understood and I wasn't going to let him use me like that anymore. It would hurt but I had to get myself from him; if I didn't do it now I'd never be able to leave him.

Jake must've noticed my expression hardening because he looked at me and smiled reassuringly, "I'll be there for you, whenever you need me."

I smiled back at him as we heard my name being called.

He helped me up and walked with me to the doctor's room where we were met with Carlisle Cullen.

This was not going to help my day. I didn't need to see any Cullens again today.

"Oh, Bella, hello. Come, take a seat." He smiled at me, gesturing towards the examination table. He looked surprised to see me there without Edward.

I walked over to the table and sat up on it, waiting for him to ask what had happened to me. I had no idea what I was going to say to him.

He started examining my wrist with his ice-cold hands that reminded me far too much of Edward's.

"You'll be fine Bella, it's just a fracture. I'll give you a bandage for it; you'll have to keep it on for a few weeks." He smiled at me when he was finished looking at my wrist.

"How did you manage to hurt yourself this time?" He asked me, wrapping a bandage around my wrist.

I saw Jake's eyes tighten from across the room. I gulped; I didn't know how to answer.

Jake answered for me, "You're bloodsucker son had a fight with her."

I looked down.

"Edward?!" Carlisle asked, his eyes widening.

I nodded mutely.

"I'll have to have a little chat with him later on. Don't worry, Bella, I'll make sure he doesn't try anything like this again." He told me reassuringly.

I thanked him and left with Jake beside me.

As soon as we came out he glared up at the sky, "God, I hate that bloodsucker."

"Carlisle?" I asked, surprised.

"No, he's alright, I meant Edward." Jake glared.

"Oh…right." I should have guessed. "Hey, Jake, can you bring me home now?"

"Oh yeah, sure sure." He smiled at me, walking with me towards the exit to the hospital car park.

"Want to walk or will I carry you?" He asked me, grinning.

"Whichever you thinks faster." I replied, grinning back.

"Carrying it is then." He laughed, picking me up into his arms and running super fast to my house.

When he had brought me to my house, he set me down on my porch and ran a hand through his hair. "Can I come in for a minute?"

"Of course." I said, my smile leaving my face. Jake's expression was making me nervous.

He walked in after me and I shut the door behind us with a snap.

"So…what did you want to say?" I asked, feeling on edge. I didn't want to know what he was going to say; I was afraid of what it might be.

"Oh, right. Well," He began, looking nervous. "I don't want to be insensitive but if there isn't any chance, just tell me, okay?"

I nodded.

"I was wondering, seeing as Edward messed up, if I had any chance at all with you, Bells?" He asked me, his eyes shining.

"Jake…you know I can't, not now. I can't think straight at the moment." I told him helplessly.

He nodded, understanding, and kissed my forehead as he left, "See you soon, Bells."

Then, just like that, I was alone. I shouldn't have felt like I did. The quiet and stillness felt like it was trying to tell me that this was what I'd be feeling when I tried to peel myself away from Edward permanently.

My life would be empty.

_But not as bad as the last time, though._ I told myself.

This time _I_ was the one who was leaving _him_. It would make a difference. I'd be able to get over him through time. I had Jake to help me through it all.

This time I would be strong, I wouldn't take him back.

With that thought firmly in mind, I went to the bathroom and had a nice, warm shower.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N (PPB) – Hey all of you readers (and the wonderful reviewers ;) ) Here's the next chapter and I hope you enjoy it. –grin-**

**Thanks to: **

**Zoella De Vil** - Yeah, I prefer a strong Bella to a weak one. She'd be much more likable if she wasn't so completely dependant on Edward. (she gets a bit annoying sometimes) enjoy the chappy. ;)

**TwilightPercyMediator'n'Harry** - thanks for the nice review. And, awh, I don't mean to make anyone cry but...I suppose this story's quite sad...enjoy this chappy anyways.

**bellaedward12345** - lol thanks for the review. Here's the next chapter. Hope I didn't leave you waiting for too long ;)

**Dreamer** - Hey, welcome to fanfic. ;) I'm glad you're enjoying this story. Here's the next chapter, enjoy.

**Paigeyx3Popcorn** - emm...thanks? lol, I have no idea what you meant by your review but thanks for even bothering to write anything.

* * *

The next day at school was one of the hardest of my life.

Trying to ignore Edward through Biology and lunch had been torture but I had managed. I was slowly distancing myself from him and he could see it. He took every opportunity to speak to me but I had vowed that night that I wouldn't let myself be taken back in by his charms.

I doubted whether anyone had every ignored him before so this would be something he wouldn't know how to deal with. When I _had_ to speak to him it was in cold, short and to-the-point sentences. He seemed surprised at my reaction but I had seen past all the frills and bows straight to the heart of our relationship. I had seen a cold _nothing_.

Our relationship wouldn't have worked in the long term. I had become too dependant on him and he wasn't consistent enough…not after he left me.

I thought back to the time when we had first started dating; we must've been sickening to look at. I had hung onto his every word and worshipped him as if he was a God.

Well, I wouldn't do that anymore. I was giving him the silent treatment from here on.

During lunch, when I had sat down at my usual table he had sat beside me and tried to talk to me and make me see 'his side'. I couldn't deal with that. He was probably the best liar I knew and I couldn't believe him; after his whole act of loving me I had lost all of my faith in him.

I would rather have gone out with Mike Newton than go back to being with him. Well, that's what I told myself anyway. The truth was, I still loved him and I hated myself for it. He had lied to me and shown no compassion towards my poor, frail human heart.

Now, he was nothing more than a heartless user in my mind.

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo_

After a torturous day, I had come home from school a mess. My heart was in tatters but I refused to give in and cry. Instead I had a hot shower and pulled on my sweats. I ran downstairs to the kitchen and got myself a huge tub of ice-cream to sustain myself. Comfort food was all I needed just then.

After about half an hour of eating ice-cream, I heard a knock on the door.

I jumped; I hadn't been expecting anyone today.

Putting the tub of ice-cream on the coffee table, I wandered over to the door to answer it.

I looked through the spy hole and saw him. Edward was right outside my door, waiting for me to answer and looking impatient.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't _want_ to see him but maybe I could tell him that we were finished now.

Making my decision, I sighed and opened the door, revealing a drenched Edward who still managed to look good.

"Yes?" I asked stiffly.

"Bella, please, listen to me this one time." He pleaded to me with his glistening topaz eyes.

My eyes narrowed, I didn't like this one bit. He had a way with words that made him very slippery in verbal combat.

He took my silence as a yes and continued, "I never meant to hurt you. I was just angry with everyone yesterday and you were the last straw for my frayed nerves."

I could feel my expression become cold, I had no time for his lies. "Save your lies for someone who believes them."

His eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock. "My…my _lies_?"

He looked hurt but I doubted even that was real.

"Bella, I've never lied to you." He told me, seeming to realise the damage he'd done yesterday.

"You did. Once."

"But you know why I did that." He looked appalled with himself.

"Yeah, so you could go off with some other girl while I was left here conveniently waiting for you to come back whenever you were finished with her." I glared at him.

"Bella…I…I was _never_ unfaithful to you, I swear." He looked like he was sinking into even more self loathing but it was all probably an act just like everything else he did or said.

"Yeah, _right_." I said, slamming the door in his face.

I could her him calling my name faintly but I just got my tub of ice-cream and started shoving spoonfuls of it into my mouth while tears leaked down from my eyes like tiny diamonds sparkling in the light.

After I had cleaned out the tub I dragged myself upstairs and closed my bedroom window. He would know what I meant by that.

Then I curled into a ball under my covers and cried myself to sleep that night. Who knew that a confrontation with Edward could leave me in this sorry state?

Not me, certainly. I had believed that I could just tell him all those things without causing too much pain to my now bleeding heart. I had been wrong. It was painful but bearable…just about.

But I couldn't get the picture of his tortured eyes out of my head. _I _had done that to him. _I_ had told him that I thought he was a liar. But…the thing was…I truly believed it and he could see that. I was right to get away from him; he was bad news for me.

I realised that those were the words he'd warned me with when I had first met him. He'd told me that he was bad news…I just hadn't realised how much.

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**Yeah, so…it's going to be a bit sad, Bella thinks that Edward was lying to her the whole time (seeing as he's supposed to be a brilliant liar and all) and doesn't know whether to trust him or not. (If you couldn't understand her thoughts…)**

**I'm not sure whether I'm going to make them get back together or make Bella move on.**

**But I'll try to get the next chapter finished soon. **

**Wish me luck, mi amigos.**

**I hope you enjoyed it.**

**(SO sorry if it was too short…:(**** )**

**PPB (.Butterfly-) xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N (PPB) – Hey all you readers! –grin- and the absolutely **_**amazing**_** reviewers! ;) Finally got this finished, I had the idea there for ages but never had the time or incentive to write it. But here it is. Sorry if it seems a bit OOC but I explain why anyways. Its one of the happier chapters, I guess. **

**Thanks to:**

**Vampyre Goddess Aphrodite** – thanks. And here's the update. Hope you enjoy. :)

**ClamKidToTheRescue** – awh, thanks so much. Hehe…I'm going to be evil here and not tell you whether they're going to get back together or not…mwahaha. ;)

**Becky :)** – thanks for the review. :)

**macy...who kares stalker!!!** – emm…that'll only happen if it ties in with the story lol. And I would love to put that bit it at the end…that is…_if_ they get back together…mwahaha. Okay, I'll stop being evil, I think I'm enjoying this a bit too much… :)

**CookieMonsterxx3** – lol, no probs, I just was wondering if it was a good hmm or a bad one. And awh, thankees sooo much for liking this…*huggles* enjoy.

**bellaedward12345 –** lol yessir! *salutes* idk, I'll see where the story takes me, if they get together, its up to them. But it could happen…enjoy this chappy anyways. ;)

**Zoella De Vil** – good to know you're liking this Bella. I prefer this one too. And…as for the whole get-back-together thing…we'll see…oh yes, we'll see… :) lol

**TwilightPercyMediator'n'Harry** – awh, I didn't mean to make you cry. Here, have a tissue. Lol. Glad you're enjoying this anyway. Thanks for the nice review. :)

**Ohmigod, that was a long A/N…heheh…onto the story now…don't kill me…**

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In the morning I woke up with crusty eyes from crying and one hell of a headache. It was going to be a_ long_ day. Good thing it was a Saturday.

I sighed and pushed the covers off me, grabbing my bag of toiletries and padding barefoot to the bathroom.

I yawned and closed the door behind me as I pulled off my pyjamas, turning on the shower and waiting for it to heat up.

As I waited I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. My eyes were bloodshot, a result from the crying I guessed, and my hair was a huge tangled mess of brown, it looked like a birds nest. I was a mess.

Once it had _finally_ heated up, the heating system in this house was one of the worst I'd ever seen in my life, I stepped in and felt all of my muscles relax as the warm water soothed my skin and eased the tension in my shoulders.

As I washed I began to forget my worries for a short time. I just let the hot water rush over me and sooth my aching head. I forgot about Edward and all of my problems that had yet to be sorted out.

I stayed in for a little while longer then necessary and then stepped out and wrapped my towel around me quickly, it was freezing.

I dried myself as quickly as I could and then, when I was just finished throwing on my clothes; a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt, inspiration struck.

I grabbed the phone that I'd brought with me from Phoenix and dialled the number.

"Hello?" asked a musical voice.

"Hey, Alice, it's me, Bella. Can you come over?" I smiled.

"Of course. I'll be _right_ over. I knew you'd come around one day." She squealed, obviously knowing why I'd called her.

"Okay, thanks Alice." I laughed and hung up.

She was true to her word anyway. I had just sat down to wait when she came jumping through the window with a huge, manic grin on her face.

Okay, I'll admit, just then I felt a bit scared of what kind of torture I'd gotten myself signed up for.

"Oh, Bella! We're going to have _so_ much fun today!" She squealed, jumping up and down in excitement. "First of all I'm going to curl your hair, then I'm going to put some make-up on you and…_ohmigod_…" Her mouth dropped and her eyes almost popped out of their sockets in horror, "_What are you wearing!?_" She screeched.

Now _that_ scared the life out of me.

"Well…I thought you were going to dress me so I just threw these on." I improvised, not wanting her to know that I had actually planned on wearing them. Who knows what she would've done?

"_Oh_, I see. Well, I brought some clothes with me anyway so you won't be seen outside these walls wearing that…that _monstrosity._" She exclaimed, appalled.

"Okay, okay. I get it. Can we get on with the make-over please?" I laughed.

She nodded; all business, "Yes. We need to make you look utterly vampire-luscious."

"Uh oh…" I gulped.

"Don't 'uh oh' me, Bella. You'll thank me when I'm finished." She chirped happily, taking curling tongs out of her bag and beginning to comb my nest of hair with a special brush used for checking for nits.

"_Ow_, Alice. That _hurt_." I complained.

"No pain no game; you want to look drop dead gorgeous so Edward'll be jealous? Then you'll have to deal with it." She told me, starting to comb another segment of my hair.

I sighed, looking good was hard work, it seemed.

After a half hour of combing, she finally started to curl my hair. It was taking forever.

She took a new strand and began twisting it around the curling tong, "I think this look will suit you _so_ much, Bella. It just screams, _you_."

I grunted to let her know I was listening; I couldn't talk with her yanking the hair out of my head.

"Jeez Bella, _relax._" She grinned.

My eyes narrowed, she was getting on my nerves. But the hair pulling didn't help my mood towards her.

"Now," She sighed satisfactorily, "All done."

I looked up into the mirror she was holding and gasped, the girl I saw had amazing hair and looked absolutely, dare I say it, dazzling. Alice hadn't even put any make-up on me yet. She was sure good at what she did anyway.

"Do you like it?" She asked me, nervous now.

"Its amazing, Alice. I love it." I grinned.

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree and she hugged me tightly.

Eventually she let me go, "On to the make-up!"

I smiled and then had to keep my face straight while she attacked me with eyeliner and other sorts of pointy things that she jabbed me with.

"Hold still." She frowned at me, holding my face while she tried to put eyeliner on me.

"But you poked me in the eye last time." I whined.

"It was an accident, you moved your head." She glared at me.

I pouted and she laughed. "Okay, you want only one eye done?"

Damn, she had me there; I'd look like a complete idiot if I went around with only one eye that had eyeliner on.

"Fine."

"Good Bella."

She continued torturing me until she was finally finished.

"Tadaa!" She beamed, showing me my reflection in the mirror.

I gaped, that girl in the mirror _couldn't_ be me. It was impossible. This girl looked nothing like me, she had the same eyes, yeah, but she was so much prettier.

"I'm good, am I not?" Alice grinned.

"The best." I laughed.

"Ah, but we're not finished just yet, my dear Bella. We still have your outfit to do; one of my favourite parts." She grinned manically.

Okay, that was the craziest I'd ever seen her look.

She jumped over to a big black bag and began rummaging through it. She threw bundles and bundles of clothes out of it and soon enough she had a giant pile of possible outfits.

Needless to say, I was petrified.

"Now," She smiled, looking happy with herself, "This is where the fun begins."

She grabbed a skimpy looking top and threw it at me along with what looked like a piece of material that I was told was a miniskirt.

"Try them on." She ordered me.

Sighing, I took off my sweats and t-shirt and put on the top and 'miniskirt'.

"Ooh…they're great on you, Bella." She beamed.

"The skirt's a bit too short…"

"Hmm…jeans it is then!" She decided, turning around to the pile of clothes and looking through it until she found a pair of really cool looking jeans.

"Now, I like _them_." I grinned.

"Thought you would." She sang as she passed them over to me.

I tried them on and instantly fell in love with them.

They were the coolest jeans I'd ever seen and I loved them to bits.

"Where did you get these?" I asked her.

"Oh, this market we were at one time. They're lovely, aren't they?" She smiled.

"I'll say."

"Okay, so do you want to come around to our house or do you want me to arrange for Edward to see you out in public?" She asked.

"Public."

"Okay, we might need to chat up some guys though." She grinned.

I shrugged, "Whatever it takes."

"Would you mind if Rose came? I 'd hate to leave her on her own, y'know." She begged me with her eyes.

"Alright, fine. But she'll make me look stupid."

"Not if she dresses down." Alice disagreed.

"Okay, okay. She can come." I smiled.

"Yay!" She hugged me and ran off to get Rosalie.

While she was gone I had time to remember why I was doing all of this. I was doing it because Edward had lied, he didn't love me, and I wanted to make him regret that he'd lost me. I wanted revenge and, you know what they say, revenge is a dish best served cold.

_I_ was cold; my heart had nothing left in it to feel again. I was like a broken china doll on the inside, beautiful but cracked and chipped in so many ways.

The get together with Alice had given me things to keep my worries out of my head but now they were back with a vengeance, as if they were punishing me for forgetting them for any length of time.

I sighed and placed a smiley façade over my face, not wanting Alice or Rosalie to see how much I was hurting.

Just then, they jumped in through the window like Alice had when she first arrived.

Rosalie grinned at me, "Wow, Bella, you look amazing."

"Thanks." I smiled, sheepish.

"Now let's hit the road." Alice laughed.

I laughed, or pretended to anyway, and followed them outside to Rose's gleaming red sports car.

I had left a note for Charlie, telling him where I was going and when I thought I'd be back, he wouldn't mind.

We all laughed as Rose put the pedal down and began speeding us towards Port Angeles, our destination.

As I pretended to enjoy myself, I felt cold and empty inside, I felt so _used_ by Edward. I'd never let him see that though, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Right now, I wanted revenge. And I'd get it, one way or another.

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**A/N – hope you enjoyed this one. (I know some mightn't have) but anyways, review regardless, I like to get some feedback about my stories *Hint hint* lol. I know this was a bit of a filler but the next chapter will (hopefully) be more exciting.**

**Love ya,**

**PPB xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N (PPB) - Sooo sorry for not updating in forever. *winces* I just had a lot of trouble with this thing. Anyway, the next chapter is here and I hope you all enjoy. (if anyone's still reading, that is.)_**

- thanks. :) hope you're still reading. enjoy the chappie and the ending... hehe :)

bellaedward12345 - lol. thanks. That one word makes my day. XD Enjoy this one.

Leon McFrenchington - okay, so I've tried to take on board everything you've said. I hope this is all right. Enjoy anyway, at least I can say I tried. :)

ClamKidToTheRescue - ...okay, so now I feel really bad. I _know_ this should be updated by now but here it is. Sorry for the lateness.

Zoella De Vil - Hell yeah. lol. Glad you enjoyed it.

looneybaloony - Glad you liked it. If you're still waiting, here's the next chapter. :)

soccerplayer18 - technically, I'm still going with this. lol.

twilightlover121 - My lips are sealed. Wait and find out...(though God knows how long that'll take XD)

**_Now here we go...._**

* * *

I stepped out of the car and onto the cracked sidewalk. Alice and Rosalie were already out and waiting for me to follow, we were going to head towards a small café that Edward would be sitting in; waiting for Alice.

"He should be there now, c'mon, Bella. Hurry up." The little pixie was now gesturing for me to catch up with her and Rosalie impatiently, stomping her feet theatrically.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." I muttered, letting some of my unhappiness show.

Rosalie raised an eyebrow at my expression and I tried to lighten it, I didn't want to talk about how much I was hurting.

The thing was I _knew_ that I'd feel better if I told them…but I couldn't. They'd probably think I was just weak, a piteously weak human. But I was doing so much better than last time and they could see it. They were surprised but seemed to guess that my zombie phase had made me stronger. But I wasn't strong enough. I still pined for him but it was pushed to the back of my mind, more like background music compared to blaring music at a nightclub.

I still needed to see him though; I was like an addict trying to break my addiction.

I sighed and followed the two vampires, Alice was chatting away to Rosalie and me, not seeming to notice that I was no longer paying attention.

I was watching mother and father birds bringing food to their babies in their nest and felt a pang. I'd never have that with Edward, even if we were together.

Looking at the painfully beautiful faces of the two immortals beside me, I almost cried. I would never look like that, I'd always be just plain Bella, and nothing Alice could do would ever change that.

Suddenly I felt ridiculous and inadequate. What had I been thinking? I could never match up to Rosalie, even if she dressed down. I probably looked like an ugly duckling beside two gorgeous swans.

Feeling tears starting to form, I turned and ran off to the public toilets just at the bottom of the street.

Once there, I locked myself in a cubicle and let my tears come. They tumbled down my face and splashed onto the floor, ruining my mascara and eyeliner.

I'd been an idiot. How had I honestly believed that anything that Alice could do to me would make me as jaw droppingly gorgeous as they were?

My self confidence shattered like a pane of glass and I knew that I'd never be able to pick up all of the little pieces.

I would always be plain old Bella and nothing Alice could do to me would change that.

Now I saw why Edward hadn't loved me and why he had left me before. I was nothing special; in fact, I was probably the most average human on the planet.

Suddenly someone banged on the door to the cubicle I was crying in, "Bella? Is that you?"

It was Rosalie, she must have followed me.

I sniffled, "Yeah."

"Are you alright?" She asked me, obviously knowing that I was anything but.

"No. I look ridiculous and ugly; no wonder Edward never loved me." I sobbed more.

"Don't be stupid, Bella, you're gorgeous. You just have to believe it, it's all about confidence, and, for the record, Edward did, no, _does_ love you. I don't know what made you think he doesn't." She told me gently.

"I'm not gorgeous, I'm plain and ugly." I shook my head vigorously, "Edward never loved me; it was all an act."

"Bella." She sighed, exasperated, "You're the prettiest human I know and you need to believe it. Please, open the door."

I did, letting her see my tear stained face and puffy eyes.

"Now, about Edward, he loved you and still does. He thinks you're the most amazing person in the world and never lied to you. He's beating himself up right now because he knows how great you are and that he's lost your trust. He loves you _so_ much. Why can't you see that?" She hugged me tightly.

I wasn't expecting that and stiffened at first but then hugged her back.

"He doesn't love me. He lied to me once, he told me he didn't lov-" Then I understood.

He hadn't lied to me; he'd told me the truth that day in the forest. I'd had it wrong, he hadn't lied to me then, he had been trying to get rid of me so he could be with someone else. He had lied about everything else; he had never loved me and had tried to put me straight that day but now he was back to the old pretence of loving me.

"Bella?" Rosalie asked, unsure of why I'd broken off midway through a sentence.

"He didn't lie then. He told me the truth in that forest. He never loved me." I started crying again onto her shoulder.

"You've got it all wrong." She sounded frustrated now, "He loves you, and I know it. I've never seen him so happy until he met you; you're his _life_, Bella."

I continued to sob, "No I'm not. He doesn't love me, he never did."

Rose grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me right in the eye.

She ordered, "Bella, look at me." I looked. "He. Loves. You. Stop being so stubborn and try to believe me."

"I…I can't." I looked down at the grimy tiled floor, away from her face.

"I'll wear you down eventually and then you'll thank me." She told me, getting up and pulling me with her to the sink.

She splashed my face with ice-cold water that made me shiver and started drying my face and fixing my make-up. "If Alice saw what you'd done to your make-up you'd be dead right now."

"Lucky she didn't then," I tried to smile, letting Rosalie fix my eye make-up and foundation.

She sighed, "Bella, you're one disillusioned girl. I can't believe you made yourself believe that Edward doesn't love you." She shook her head tiredly, sick of trying to convince me otherwise.

I waited for her to finish fixing me up, mulling over what she'd told me.

She'd said it with such conviction that I'd believe her if I didn't believe so fully the exact opposite. Why would he have loved me anyway? It had never made sense, even when I believed it to be true.

"Finished." She smiled, putting away her make-up bag. "Now, let's go and make a certain person very jealous." She winked and linked arms with me, strutting out of those dingy public toilets and back out into the typically overcast day and the warm air.

I saw Alice waiting impatiently further up the street, looking slightly worried but that look quickly faded when she saw Rose and I.

She motioned for us to hurry up.

I half smiled; Alice had to be the most impatient person on the planet. That and the Queen of shopping.

We sped up and she joined up with us.

"So, what was all _that_ about?" She asked.

"Nothing." I said quickly, too quickly.

She noticed.

"Rose?"

Rose answered casually, "Bella just got a bit down, it's not really an issue."

Alice's eyes bugged out of their sockets, "Bella! You're not depressed, are you? 'Cause you can tell me if you are. Cutting is _not_ the answer!"

I almost laughed, "Relax, Alice. I just had a little shortage of self confidence."

She looked relieved. "Thank _God_! I don't what I'd have done if you _were_ cutting."

"Eaten me?"

"_No_, silly. I'd never do that."

Then, with vampire speed, she gave me a tight hug.

"Can't breathe." I managed to get out.

"Oh, sorry." Alice laughed, letting go of me, "I keep forgetting that you're still human."

"I think you're the only one." I replied dryly, a bit of my bad mood coming back.

"Oh, Bella. There's nothing wrong with being human. It actually has a lot of perks." The little pixie chirped happily.

"Like what?"

"You can have a proper family if you want to, with the right guy." Rosalie sighed, looking melancholy. She would look at that aspect, of course.

"You don't have to worry about eating the people around you." Alice added.

"And, you don't have a burning pain when you're thirsty or feel like you're a monster sometimes." Rosalie finished, raising an eyebrow as if she was daring me to disagree.

"But-" I began.

Rose gave me a death glare. "Don't put yourself down, Bella; being human is a lot easier than being what we are. You're lucky; you have a choice about this. None of us had."

"Look on the bright side, Bella, you still have that whole Volturi deal if you _really_ want to be changed." Alice added happily.

"Just don't waste the days you have while you're human, make the most of it before you have to keep your instincts in check the whole time." Rose smiled, then, seeing that we were nearly at the café, added with a wink, "Remember, confidence is key."

I gulped, "Oh no."

"No backing out now, Bella. You've _got_ to do this." Rose told me, giving me a little push and an encouraging smile.

"You're going in, one way or another…" Alice told me, looking scarily serious.

"But…"

"No buts. Today you're the new ultra confident Bella. Nothing fazes you." Rosalie grinned, trying to help ease my fear and nervousness.

I took a deep breath.

_You can do this, Bella, all you have to do is go in there and flirt with some guy at the counter. Easy. You're a powerful, confident and independent woman. You _can_ do this. This is all just to show him that you _can_ move on without him. Don't show how much you're hurting._

I nodded, my internal pep talk giving me some confidence that I'd never realised I'd had. "Okay. We're going in."

Alice and Rosalie looked at each other, grinning, proud that they'd finally managed to make me the confident woman I could be.

"Right with you, sister." They said in unison, beaming like two proud mothers.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed open the door to the café where Edward was waiting for Alice at a small table, a frown furrowing his eyebrows together.

_Always impatient._

My breath caught as I saw him but I kept my calm, cool and confident façade in place, not letting him see the hurt and longing I still held for him.

He looked up as I came in. I turned my head away, not catching his eye and losing my self in that topaz heaven.

I thought I heard an intake of breath as I walked by his table.

A small smirk played on my lips, this felt good.

I sauntered over to the counter, all eyes were on me, and kept an innocent expression on my face.

"C-can I help you miss?" The guy at the counter asked me, he looked around the same age as me. I recognized him from school.

"Um…yeah. Can I have a coffee please?" I faltered, embarrassed for a second.

How the hell was I supposed to flirt with some random guy? I'd never had to bother with any of that with Edward and I had absolutely _no_ experience with this stuff.

"Sure." He mumbled, going a bit red as he began pouring out my coffee.

While I waited, I surveyed the room, though I avoided that _particular_ spot. The Café was pretty full, a lot of kids from school wound up here during the weekends.

Alice and Rose were sitting as far from Edward as possible, grinning and winking madly at me.

I felt myself go a bit pink. How many people were looking at those two? Dropping my gaze to the floor, I turned back to the counter.

My coffee was sitting on the counter, just made. I noticed that the guy's apron was stained with a huge splash of coffee.

"That'll be $1.84, please." He stuttered, face still burning.

I groped around in my pockets for change and came out with a $2 bill.

"Here you go." I smiled.

He took it off me and opened the till, fumbling with the change.

Once he'd figured it out and handed it to me, I threw the change into the tray for tips.

Giving the poor guy a parting smile, I turned around and headed towards Alice and Rose's table.

Only I didn't get there.

Someone stepped right in front of me, nearly making me drop my coffee.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the shop.

"We need to talk." He hissed in my ear.

That _voice._ It made my legs turn to jelly.

I looked back at my two friends, my face practically screaming _help!_

They just shrugged helplessly, Alice giving me a tiny thumb's up.

The door slammed shut in my face.

And then I was alone with someone I _really_ didn't want to talk to.

This could get interesting.

* * *

**_A/N (PPB) -And I leave you with a cliffie. Mwahaha! I'm evil. (seeing how it'll take me forever to get the next chapter going.) Hope you liked, review please. I'd like to know that people are actually reading this thing._**

**_love ya, PPB xxx :)_**


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